Of course the normal things that happen after the wedding ceremony-the
byes, a million photos (which stretch your smile till you can’t pull back your
mouth to normal), sorting out some immediate gifts, evening party and departure
for honeymoon……..they occupy your mind until it all suddenly clears on the day
after and voila! You wake up married! Haiya! Who is this by my side? And here
for life/good?
Guess that was my first shocker. What did I do? Thank God
for the wedding ‘glow’ which carried me thru that question as the reality of
the fact that I was married slowly sunk in. Coming to terms that I now have
someone with me -to actually love and cherish till death do us part? This
reality was so different from all the times I’d said my vows in rehearsal. More
so when we got home and started a life together-having to live together through
thick and thin, the inevitable fights and none of the parties has an option of
leaving to go sleep in their house to cool off-what a lesson!
5 years down the line, I see this time as the time when the
sand paper meets the wood at its roughest. It is such an exciting life,
learning new things and reveling in the joy of new love but it was also a rough
and tough time where we, (or should I say I?) rubbed each other the wrong way
so many at times that it made me wonder at times-what did I get myself into? I
compare this with two un-hewn pieces of stone rubbing against each other. The
friction is at maximum and the easiest way out is to just avoid anything that
may cause friction. I thank God for Ems who stuck it out through these tough times
and made our frictions lead to more times of smiles and laughter than time
spent frowning and in bickering. A decision made early enough to talk about
anything, yaani ANYTHING that was causing a rift as soon as possible got us
thru many a potential cold look and night!
God’s grace was so abundant……where would we be were it not
for Him? Who else would have taught us what it takes (and still is teaching
us!) to stay married knowing that there was no rehearsal for marriage?
Of all the things that stand out for me, is the need to get
back to God with a humble heart to ask Him to teach us as men how to love the
wives He gave us. More so when we realize that the easiest picture to mirror is
what one learnt at the home I grew up
in, if not what I’d heard from many sources which suffice to say led to many a
squabble. My ego had to make way for grace to abound in my heart. This was the
only way I could enroll in the school where I was to be a student for life and
learn how to love my wife as Christ loved the church. As long as I remained a
work in Christs’ hand, I could learn the ropes of marriage, one tip at time, learn
how to say the difficult words- “I was wrong, please forgive me”, learn that my
wife is not my mother; doesn’t cook like her, think like her or treat me like
her……… and never will be like her. She is just Emmah.
This Emmah rocks my world each day. At times it can seem to
be literal when the road is rough and rocky but we are learning not to use any
rocks on our way against each other, but to use them to make the muddy/slippery
paths passable. Again- she rocks my world!!!!!!
